imperfectlyperfect's Datingish

reevaluating the war [my war]

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:29:41 GMT

reevaluate: v. - revise or renew one's assessment

circumstances have brought me to wits end.
stability has become a rarity.
anger and frustration have become the norm.

why is it so hard to see eye to eye with someone when you both are damn near exactly the same? its getting harder and harder to do and i'm starting to wonder what i got myself into. i know he loves and cares for me. i see that when we aren't going at each other like north and south koreans.

i have my own set of issues. i'm needy, moody, and ever so impatient. i've been so used to getting my way every time and now that i've moved out on my own, well, lets just say that Angela getting her way is like people in hell getting water. but, slowly, i'm getting used to it.

learning to live with and be around some one 24/7 that's just like me except with a penis is almost the hardest thing i've ever had to do. i want to continue to do it. i just have to learn that my needs, wants, and whatever[s] don't get to come first anymore. somedays, yes. but not all the time.

i guess it's all like playing a video game... practice will eventually make perfect. but until the perfection comes, frustration is going to damn near kill me. i guess in the end, as long as we both get that "happily ever after", i can say that it was all well played and all the small battles in between were well worth it.

How To Be A Better Girlfriend

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:48:58 GMT

I am so guilty of "google"-ing "how to be a better girlfriend."

Does that mean I am a terrible on on the verge of trying to fix my imperfections? No.

It's simply that I want to know more about how I can bond with my guy in a way that meets both of our needs. We are both emotionally needy people. We crave attention. I'm upset when I'm not the one getting all of it and vice versa. We practically fight over who needs/wants the most attention. I'm bipolar... my needs are great. I'm always moody. Lately, my mood swings have been comparable to changing stations on the radio. I don't take meds for it so I deal with it on my own.

I just need some advice... from anyone.

no subject... just thinking

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 02:45:00 GMT

so, as a recent turn of events have occurred in my life [moving] and finding what i feel is the best thing for me [will] i have found that i am content.

is it contentment that we long for or is it the feeling of knowing that we aren't alone?
knowing that there is someone there to turn to at your weakest moment?
someone to share the world with?

what is it that completes everything that we know or once knew?

and once we find it... how do we hold onto it?

HELP!!! PLEASE!!!

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 01:58:11 GMT

so... my life thus far is going GREAT since I've decided not to move to Cali. I moved to NC instead!!! [hah]

but, on a stronger, but lighter note.... I HAVE A FREAKIN STRESS RASH ALL OVER ME!!!

has any one else ever had this problem??? if so, please please comment or message me on how to deal.

I've tried my klonopin... didn't work.

So now, the doc gave me prednisone, benadryl, and told me to take Zoloft for only 5 days?

I don't know... maybe someone out there will.

i am [because of you]

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 07:16:21 GMT

i am that look in [your] eyes.
i am that smile on [your] face.
i am that feeling [you] get inside when you least expect it.
i am....

i will smile because [you] put it there.
i will laugh because [you] brought it on.
i will be stronger because [you] are behind me.
i will....

i will be hopeful because [you] bring it.
i will be faithful because [you] deserve it.
i will be full of life because [you] fill me with it.
i will...

i want to turn from the darkness because [you] bring an encouraging light.
i want to forget the past because [you] are now my present and future.
i want....

i am...
i will...
i want...

to be everything i need to be.
and everything [you] can hope for me to be.

because [you] are not him.
[you] are [you].
and for that, i am thankful everyday.

A Dream [is just a dream]

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:54:58 GMT

A dream seems to be only a dream.
That is until you fear potential disaster every time you fall asleep.
Then its a nightmare.

Damn near same dream [nightmare].
3 nights in a row.
3 nights of waking up shaking.
3 nights of terrified looks on my face.
3 nights of crying myself back to sleep.

2 nights of [you] helping me through it.
2 nights of [you] keeping me safe.
2 nights that having a bad dream didn't seem so bad at all [even though I'm sure to you it looked horrible].

But if every 2 out of 3 nights can be so safe, warm, and loving...
That's 2 out of 3 nightmares I'm not afraid to have.

starting over [some place]

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:13:13 GMT

I have decided to start over and reclaim what I feel should be rightfully mine.
My Life.

I was at a point where I had a decision to make.
East coast or West Coast. Family or Friends. Old or New.

Then it hit me.

I can't do this. I can't leave. I'm grounded by principle.
Family comes first. [they can't bear to see me leave and i can't bear that look on their faces every time I talk about it.]

Besides, there's someone here who needs me more than I need that gorgeous Cali sunset.

So, to the old thoughts [blogs] I have to say goodbye. [with the exception of one which I will leave posted]

Closets and Hotpockets!!!

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 03:31:29 GMT

"If you cry, you got my shoulder
Depressed, I'll cheer you up
Angry, I'll calm you down
Physical...
I'll hide in the closet"

What he said made me laugh.

Thats all I got today.

Other random quote of the day: [Me and D on hotpockets]

Angela lol... u no want girl... u want hot pocket!!!
Angela: its either gonna be that or some ramen noodles... maybe both...
D: hahahaha
D: what about angela with a hotpocket! i'd like some of that.
Angela: i bet u would
D: you'd be the bonus
Angela: eat a hotpocket off my hot ass... ahahaha... brb, gotta make food really quick
D: it's like...damm...this 1 min. microwaveable, edible snack comes with a girl wearing hello kitty panties. SCORE
D: oh, man...you leave me with that thought?...oh man...

[Note: D, I know ur gonna read this and laugh!!!]